Things my little brother asks
by Dana-Eliza
Summary: Gaara asks Kankuro and Temari the most embarrassing questions and they need to find the right way to answer them. Crack fic, really short chapters and a very unknowing Gaara. Before Shippuden.
1. Kankuro Masturbates

A new crack fic where Gaara asks his siblings embarrassing questions. Gaara is very unknowing, so doesn't get anything and therefore asks everything. Temari ist he protective sister and Kankuro the teasing brother that likes to mess with his siblings. These will be their crack personalities. The chapters will be short little conversations with just speech, so you can imagine the facial expressions and the pauses they probably need.

I hope this one is funny enough. It is just a start and a bit of an experiment.

...

'Temari?'

'Yes, Gaara.'

'You know when Kankuro closes his bedroom door and tells us to not come in for about an hour?'

'Yeah…'

'What does he do in his room then?'

'Uhh, he then, uhh, he works on his puppets then. You like to be on your own as well, right? When you're practising with your sand and stuff?'

'Yes, but I don't do that in my bedroom and I thought Kankuro had a special room to work on his puppets. So it seems highly illogical he works on his puppets in his bedroom.'

'Shi… I mean, no it's more like personal work on his puppets. So it's special puppets he takes to his bedroom. It's like a private moment with something that Kankuro holds very dear.'

'Ooh, now I understand why he had the puppet in such a weird position when I did walk in on him during the forbidden hour. Thanks, Temari!'

'Wha? Wait, Gaara. What do you mean with puppet in a weird position?'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	2. Temari uses tampons

Chapter two with Kankuro :) And thanks for the idea ;) I might use it in the future! So if you have awkward questions to ask either of the siblings, let me know ^^

Enjoy this short chapter

...

'Kankuro?'

'What do you want, Gaara?'

'Do you know what this is? Temari seems to use them every month, but she never tells me why or what they do.'

'What do you… uhh. Gaara, those are girly things, so it's not necessary for us to know what they do or what they are for or where they are supposed to go into.'

'So they go in somewhere? Where do they go into? And if you know what they do, then I can know as well, right?'

'Yeah, but, Gaara. Come on. This is things for girls. This is awkward. You can't ask your brother these things.'

'But Temari won't answer me and I don't see why it is awkward. They are just soft little white stick thingies. I can't even imagine they can go in somewhere.'

'They are tampons, okay?! Girls use them when they are on their period and they stick them up there… You know.'

'No, I don't know.'

'Don't they teach you anything anymore nowadays? I am not giving you the birds and the bees talk. Forget it!'

'Wait, but Kankuro. I still don't know what they do!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think and by the way, Kankuro walked off at the end...


	3. Sai likes penis

'Temari?'

'What do you want, Gaara? Make it quick, I'm in a hurry.'

'Do you know how Sai always talks about Naruto's penis?'

'Uhh, I guess. I'm not really sure what you mean by that.'

'Well, Naruto once complained that Sai always talks about his penis and how it is really small and things like that, but I didn't really see the problem. Is it bad that a penis is small and when is it small and why would Sai care if Naruto's penis is small or not?'

'Those are a lot of questions about penises, Gaara. Why don't you ask your brother about this? He certainly knows a lot more about penises and why they are supposed to be big and stuff.'

'But I asked Kankuro and he said I should go to you, because you've seen so many that you would understand better.'

'What did Kankuro say?!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto


	4. Naruto takes a peek

Sort of what two reviews had asked for ^^ I hope it is okay... Let the ideas come!

...

'Kankuro, may I ask you something?'

'I'm a little busy here, but shoot.'

'You know how Naruto came to visit the other day and how we went to the hot springs?'

'Yeah, what about it?'

'Well, Naruto kept trying to take a peek into the women's bath. Why would Naruto want to do that? It's the same kind of bath, right?'

'Oh, uhh, well. When a man reaches a certain age they will find the need to look at girls a lot more, preferably naked.'

'But I am just as old as Naruto and I don't feel the need to look at girls and why would someone want to see them naked?'

'Some boys just mature faster than others and why they have to be naked is another question you can go ask Temari.'

'Naruto is definitely not more mature than me and apparently he knows.'

'Stop pouting and go sulk somewhere else. Someday you'll be interested in girls or guys for that matter.'

'Why guys?'

'Oh god, Gaara…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	5. Gaara reads a book

'Temari?'

'Can't we talk about this later, Gaara? I'm reading a good book and weren't you reading something as well?'

'But I want to ask something about the book.'

'Fine… What is it?'

'Well, I borrowed this book from Naruto who borrowed this book from Kakashi and…'

'You are reading one of the old man's books? Gaara, you can't read those books! They are dirty!'

'But…'

'No, I don't want to hear it. Give me the book and I'll return it to Kakashi and then lecture him on how you can't give these books to under aged kids.'

'Temari, I just…'

'I can't believe you were even reading this. You know what kind of books Kakashi reads. You are above this, Gaara.'

'But Temari, I just wanted to know when the movie comes out here. Naruto told me that it's being turned into a movie and I want to see it.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!


	6. Gaara plays with condoms

Someone mentioned condoms in a review? ;) Enjoy! And thanks for all the lovely reviews so far! Didn't expect people to like it this much :)

...

'Gaara, what are you doing?'

'Filling up water balloons.'

'How did you get balloons. Wait, Gaara where did you get those?'

'I got them from Kankuro's room. He told me they were balloons when I asked him about it and I thought it would be fun to have a balloon fight with them. They do have quite an odd shape though.'

'Uh, that's because they are not balloons.'

'I thought it was a little strange that they were so slippery, but I thought it would make them stretch easier. They do hold quite some water. But what are they then?'

'Uhh, they, uhh. No, I was mistaken. They are balloons. Now go have fun with them.'

'Okay.'

'No, wait! No, Gaara. Don't throw them at me!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	7. Gaara wants to know about the birds&bees

The start of the idea of Princessbinas. I hope you like it this way as well, because I thought this would be a nice start ^^

...

'Temari, can I ask you something?'

'What is it now, Gaara?'

'Can you explain me something about the birds and the bees?'

'Wait, you want to know about…? Okay, well I guess you are old enough to know, but I am not sure what you want to know about this. Don't they teach you this at the academy or something?'

'We have to do some sort of project about it and they told us to ask anyone who might know something about it and I thought you were pretty smart. You must know something about it.'

'Well, yeah, uhh. When a man and a woman love each other, they uhh… They will feel the need to express it in a certain way and that usually results into sex. Another word for it is making love.'

'I'm not sure what this has to do with birds and bees and how they can be used by ninjas, but what is sex?'

'Wait, you were really asking about birds and bees?! Gaara, why didn't you say so! Oh god…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	8. Kankuro doesn't want to explain

Continuing on the last chapter... Thank you for all the lovely reviews and hopefully you are all still enjoying this :)

...

'Kankuro, what is sex?'

'…'

'…'

'Why do you want know now what it is?'

'Temari started talking about it yesterday when I asked about birds and bees.'

'Of course that damn sister of yours…'

'She's also your sister.'

'I know that, Gaara! Then why don't you ask our sister about it?'

'Because she didn't want to talk about it afterwards once I told her I asked about actual birds and bees, but now I want to know what sex is.'

'It's uh… When a man and a woman love each other…'

'Temari already got that part. I want to know what sex is.'

'If you're going start like this, then I am not even going to tell you anymore!'

'Hey, you're supposed to explain these things to me! Kankuro, wait!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	9. Shukaku knows what sex is

The italics is Shukaku speaking. I hope this is enjoyable ^^

...

'Why doesn't anyone want to explain to me what sex is?'

_Maybe I can help you out in some way, kid?_

'Yeah, right. And then you'll find a way to take over again and then destroy the village. No, thank you.'

_I will seriously tell you about sex, kid. You have my word._

'Fine, give it a shot.'

_Well, it all starts with a man and a woman being together. Can be any place they like, because why focus on a bed? Also not just humans do this. Then the man…(gets too graphic to actually write out)… And then a baby pops out being all yucky and covered in goo. _

'…'

_You still don't understand, kid? I certainly did my best to make everything is vivid as possible._

'I am never speaking to you again and I will die a virgin.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	10. Gaara uses make-up

I wrote this one last week, but wasn't sure if it would be funny... Still not sure, but I decided to upload it anyway and see what the opinions are!

And thank you for all the reviews and the favs/follows! I was shocked with how many readers this has already, but I am happy that this is liked!

...

'Gaara, what are you doing?'

'Using your make-up.'

'Using my make-up? For what on earth do you need make-up for?'

'Kankuro said I looked weird.'

'You know your brother only messes with you. Now stop using it for whatever you are using it and come down for dinner.'

'But Kankuro said I looked weird without eyebrows. Everyone has eyebrows, but I don't.'

'But, Gaara… Oh my, Gaara! That doesn't mean you should draw them so they look like Rock Lee's!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!

And keep coming with those ideas ;)


	11. Gaara takes a peek

I am glad the last one was liked as well! This one is just what I would imagine Kankuro to react like to his little brother asking a very weird question...

Thank you for all the reviews and ideas given! You'll see them appear if I manage to think of a way to put them in :)

...

'Kankuro?'

'Yes, Gaara. What's wrong now?'

'Well, I was snooping through your room again and…'

'Gaara, what did I tell you about going through my stuff! Don't go in my room when I'm not there. Seriously, you even broke through the lock to get in!'

'… And I found this magazine that has a lot of pictures with naked girls in there…'

'You even looked under the mattress of my bed?! Why the hell would you even lift it up and actually look?! You are such a little creep, Gaara.'

'Why do you have a magazine with naked girls?'

'I am not even going to answer you that. Now get the hell out of my room before I actually throw you out.'

'Tell me why you have such a magazine or I'll sand coffin you.'

'Fine! I masturbate to it and now get the hell out!'

'What's masturbate?'

'Get out!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	12. Gaara gets to pop a cherry

After an idea of Drunkenbunny. I hope this is right this way :) Also in this chapter Gaara would be kazekage, meaning he would be sixteen already, but in the other ones I see him a little younger. Just fits better with what he asks his siblings

Enjoy :)

...

'So before we start this meeting I have something else to ask you all.'

'Of course, Lord Gaara. What is it you need of us?'

'Well, I was walking through the village the other day and was stopped by a girl. She explained to me that she offered me her cherry and that I should pop it or something…'

'Uh, sir.'

'But I didn't quite understand how a cherry is supposed to be popped since in my understanding only popcorn pops. And a cherry seems quite insignificant, but how can I accept such a thing without returning something?'

'Sir, I don't think you should accept the cherry.'

'Why not? A cherry is quite harmless, right? It's just a small piece of fruit. I just wonder what I should give in return and how do you pop a cherry? If someone just explains that to me I would know what to do.'

'Lord, please. She is not offering you a piece of fruit. She is offering you her body in a way and well you get to pop her cherry as they say.'

'What does that mean offers me her body?'

'Sir, do you know what sex is?'

'No! I am staying a virgin forever. Thank you for explaining, but I'll be off now.'

'But, my lord. We still need to discuss other things!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think :)

And thank you for the lovely ideas! I have some things going through my mind which I can use :D And I'll definitely torture Kankuro some more, because I believe you all kind of love that...


	13. Kankuro doesn't want to show

Kind of a continuation on the previous chapter with Kankuro ^^ You guys are giving me lovely ideas, so stay tuned to see some of them appear as well!

And I wanted to say thank you for the reviews again and I found out I passed my record of hits per day by a mile all because of this story, so I love you guys for reading this and apparently liking it enough!

...

'Kankuro…'

'I am not talking to you!'

'But Temari said…'

'No, I am still mad at you for snooping through my room.'

'Temari said you masturbate with your puppets…'

'… She said what?!'

'She said you masturbate with your puppets. What is masturbate and how can you use your puppets?'

'I don't want to talk about this, Gaara! And it is not true.'

'What is not true?'

'That I masturbate with my puppets.'

'But you do masturbate then.'

'…Yes and it is very normal for a guy to masturbate regularly.'

'How many times do you do it then?'

'… That is not something we should share, Gaara.'

'Can you show me what masturbate is?'

'What?! Gaara, no. No, get away from me. I am not going to show you! Go away! Gaara!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	14. Temari shaves her legs

So this was after an idea of l3loodKnight and I hope it makes sense... Let me know if you can follow it or if it gets confusing!

And you are all lovely! Now read on and enjoy(hopefully)

...

'Temari, I still don't know what masturbate is.'

'Oh god, Gaara! Can't you see I am busy?'

'I don't care that you're shaving your legs. Although I don't get why you shave your legs.'

'It's none of your business and I am not going to explain to you what masturbation is.'

'Masturbation? I thought it was masturbate?'

'… Someone masturbates, Gaara…'

'But what does someone do then?'

'I am not going to tell you what masturbating is or what someone does and I am definitely not going to show you how someone masturbates!'

'Uhh… Sorry to interrupt my lord. I just needed you to sign some papers.'

'No worries, Matsuri. I'll walk along with you. Maybe you can tell me what masturbating is.'

'Oh yeah, just barge into the bathroom like it's no big deal! And you go ask her, Gaara and leave me the ** alone! Stop asking these weird questions and don't you dare disturb me in my bathroom again!'

'Temari there are some guests here for you. I'll show them in.'

'Gaara, no! I am naked!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	15. Temari owns a curling iron

After an idea of Gligor-san! I hope you like it ^^ And the rest of you as well of course ;)

...

'Kankuro?'

'I am still not going to explain to you what masturbation is!'

'No, I will ask about that later. Anyway, I sneaked into Temari's room again and found her and Shikamaru in bed together and also I found this thing…'

'Gaara, how many times do I have to tell you it's not polite to take a peek in, wait what did you see?'

'I saw Temari and Shikamaru in bed together and I found this thing that does…'

'So you are saying that you saw Temari and Shikamaru in bed and they were completely naked?'

'Well, I couldn't see, because they had the blankets over them. But do you see this thing? I want to…'

'So Temari and Shikamaru were in bed together, under the blankets and they were doing what exactly?'

'I don't know. They were making weird sounds. I was glad they didn't notice me coming in, but Temari was making too much noise for that. Anyway, this thing…'

'Oh, this is good stuff. I am so happy you sneak into Temari's room right now. Oh, I am going to find your sister right now.'

'But Kankuro! You never told me what this thing was.'

'It's a curling iron, Gaara.'

'Oh, okay. Thanks Kankuro.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think :)


	16. Gaara uses a curling iron

This is what happens when I don't think and just let words flow... I don't know... It's weird... Enjoy!

...

'Gaara, what in the world did you tell… What are you doing?'

'The thing attacked me and now I will destroy it!'

'But that's my curling iron?'

'It burned my hand and now it will pay!'

'Don't you dare break my curling iron. What are you doing with it anyway?'

'Finding out how a curling iron works and I found out it is a demon from hell that burns!'

'It is not a demon. It just gets hot so that you can curl your hair. And how come you even have my curling iron.'

'I sneaked into your room and wanted to know what it was.'

'That's why I am here in the first place! Gaara, stay out of my stuff and don't talk to Kankuro about me and Shikamaru!'

'Why? He seemed very happy with the information, although now he has been very gloomy.'

'That's because I know how he uses his puppets for things it shouldn't be used for… hehehe. Gaara! What did I tell you about breaking my curling iron!'

'Die, burning demon!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think :)


	17. Temari is a zombie

After an idea from WarFlower! It turned out a little different than I thought...

...

'Temari?'

'Yes, Gaara. Something wrong?'

'Are you dying?'

'No, of course not. What makes you think that?'

'Well, I went to the bathroom and noticed there was all this blood in the toilet and then there was even more on some things in the bin. Kankuro said it was from you, so what happened?'

'Oh, uh, not something you need to worry about, Gaara.'

'But what's going on? It seems a little strange that you lose this much blood so sudden. You could die.'

'Uhm, Gaara. This actually happens every month. It's a thing that happens to girls.'

'… So Kankuro was right. With this much blood loss you must've died a lot of times already. Girls are creatures risen from the dead and here to take our lives!'

'What?'

'You are a zombie! I need to go to my bunker!'

'What? Gaara, I am not a zombie!'

'That's exactly what a zombie would say. You are not getting my brains!'

'Gaara!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!

Can I do some shameless advertising now? I already did a crack fic before this one, also T-rated, and it's called Dear Diary. Deidara's diary with many other entries from other characters as well^^ Would be fun if you'd check that out as well!

Bye darlings


	18. Naruto changes into a naked girl

Another idea by princessbinas! Hope you all enjoy this one :)

...

'Naruto?'

'Yeah?'

'Why do you sometimes change into a naked girl?'

'It's a jutsu I invented! I can even change into a lot of naked girls. It's my harem jutsu.'

'… But why would you invent a jutsu that turns you into a naked girl? I have never felt the need to change into one.'

'I don't want to change into a naked girl, but it helps when you deal with old perverts. They will do whatever you want them to do.'

'… Why?'

'What do you mean why?'

'Why does it work on old men?'

'I don't know. They just like looking at naked girls, but they have to be pretty and preferably with many forms.'

'Why do they need forms and what kind of forms?'

'… Gaara, do you even know why a naked girl is appealing?'

'No.'

'Uh, maybe you should ask your family about this. I'm not sure if I should be telling you this.'

'They don't tell me anything, so I am asking you. Tell me.'

'No, Gaara. I don't want to. Gaara! No! Get that sand away from me! Gaara!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	19. Shikamaru needs to explain

Thank you for the ones that actually started reading Dear Diary after I did some shameless advertising and some love back for Miss Murder, because we found each other again ;) I hope this will entertain you as much as Dear Diary did!

Now this was another idea of WarFlower, changed a little by me. I hope you will like it this way!

...

'Shikamaru?'

'Mhmm?'

'I snoop in Temari's room from time to time.'

'Okay, what does that have to do with me?'

'Well, I was snooping in Temari's room the other day and saw you and her in her bed together and Kankuro told me to ask you what you were doing.'

'Oh, how bothersome…'

'So what were you doing there, Shikamaru?'

'I don't think I should be the one to tell you this, Gaara. Go ask your sister or something. It is not by job to tell you these things.'

'Just tell me what you were doing in bed with my sister.'

'Gaara! Don't ask Shikamaru such things! Have you never heard of privacy or respect?'

'Yes, I have, but I choose to ignore it. Now tell me what you were doing there.'

'Gaara! No, we will not tell you. It is private.'

'Then get in bed again and I'll snoop around some more until I find out what you two are doing.'

'Gaara!'

'Oh, this is such a drag…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think

I think I had everyone's idea now, but if I missed yours, please let me know! It means I seriously forgotten about yours and I don't mean to T.T!


	20. Kankuro does things to his puppets

So this one kind of refers back to the first one and might be a bit weird, but Gaara is just a little jealous... Enjoy!

...

'Brother?'

'You're already being suspicious, Gaara.'

'But I just wanted to ask you something.'

'I think the just is an understatement, always. You never just ask something. You ask something that always makes me feel embarrassed.'

'Well, that is not my fault. I don't know if it will be embarrassing. I just want to know things.'

'… Fine! What did you want to ask, Gaara?'

'Temari said that she knew what you did with your puppets and I remember that I had asked her about it and that it was masturbating. But if she gets to know, then I think I should also know what masturbating is.'

'That was not a question.'

'I guess you are right. So what is masturbating?'

'For the last time I am not going to answer that question!'

'Then why can Temari know, but I can't!'

'Because what I do with my puppets is not masturbating!... Oh, sh*t…'

'Then what do you do with your puppets?'

'Nothing, Gaara. Nothing at all… Wait! What are you doing now? No, don't you dare go in my room! No, those puppets are mine! Don't touch them! Gaara!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	21. Kankuro needs oil

After an idea of DestinyBlitz. I hope she likes it like this!

And thank you for all the sweet reviews. It really makes my day sometimes and I am glad this is still entertaining!

...

'Gaara, what is this?'

'Something to make your puppet stop squeaking like you asked for.'

'Yeah, but I wanted oil or something not this…'

'But it says on there it will make everything slippery again.'

'Yeah, but, uhh, they do mean something else.'

'Well, what does it mean then?'

'Uh, where did you even get this from?'

'Temari's room. I stumbled upon it when I was snooping around. It was on her nightstand, so it was found easily.'

'Gaara, this is something Temari uses for other things.'

'What kind of things?'

'She uses it for something she does with Shikamaru. Why don't you ask them what it's for and then I'll get some oil for my puppet.'

'Temari says that what she does with Shikamaru, you do with your puppets, so that means you can use it.'

'What did she say?!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	22. Gaara spends time with Jiraiya

After an idea of princessbinas! Gaara spends some time with Jiraiya ^^

Enjoy guys! Oh, and I also wanted to let you know that with this story I am breaking my hit record a lot and it pleases me! So keep on reading and make me happy :D

...

'Thanks for having me over this few days, Jiraiya.'

'No worries, kid. A friend of Naruto's a friend of mine.'

'My siblings were fighting a little too much about puppets and other things, so I thought it was best to not stay with them for a while. Don't want them to take it out on me. I didn't do anything wrong.'

'I'm sure you didn't. Sometimes brothers and sisters just fight each other.'

'May I ask you something?'

'Go ahead.'

'Well, I read your book…'

'You read it! You can't read that yet! You aren't old enough.'

'Naruto let me borrow it. Anyway, so I read this part…'

'Naruto read it as well! I need to keep that kid out of my stuff…'

'But snooping is fun. Naruto says you do it a lot as well. It's apparently why he calls you the pervy sage, but I never got that really.'

'It's just a random nickname…'

'But there was this part in the book that I didn't quite get. So the woman and the man come together and they go into the bedroom or something and then it got a little vague. What happened there?'

'I-I, uhh, they, uhh, they just had some fun together.'

'So a man and a woman have fun together in the bedroom then? Mhmm, Shikamaru and Temari must be having loads of fun then.'

'What? Temari is? And Shika… God, you kids grow up way too fast.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	23. Temari takes pictures

This is after an idea of Dancing Wolf 1223! I hope this is kind of what you expected... Enjoy!

And thank you for all the ideas you are giving me! I love how you all actively try to help me out :) And thank you guest for getting me to a 100 reviews XD

...

'Temari, I found this in your room.'

'Mhmm? Hey! Where did you get that from?!'

'In a drawer from your room with the lock on it and a note saying Gaara stay out of this drawer.'

'Then why did you still get it?'

'Because a little note and a lock won't stop me. Anyway why do you have all these pictures of Shikamaru in here?'

'Because, uhh, because he just likes it when I take his picture.'

'But in most of them he isn't even looking. Most of them are from when he was sleeping.'

'Well, maybe he just likes it when I take pictures of him when he's sleeping! It's his favourite hobby! Why are you smiling like that?'

'It seems snooping isn't only my hobby. But instead of finding interesting stuff, you snoop around Shikamaru.'

'Gaara, I am not a stalker!'

'I never used the word stalker… But you are right, you are definitely a stalker. I am going to show these pictures to Kankuro. Some of them are pretty fun to look at.'

'No, wait! Gaara! Get back here and give me back my box!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!


	24. Temari enjoys it

I thought of one again! Yaaay ^^ Enjoy my lovelies! Oh and I also have a new idea for a crack fic already! So are you interested to hear about it?

...

'Temari?'

'You know it was a lot quieter when you weren't around…'

'Why do people have sex?'

'…'

'I mean someone explained to me what it is like and it doesn't seem something I would enjoy.'

'…'

'The thought of getting al sweaty and having someone so close to you is already not very appealing…'

'…'

'But then talking about my downstairs area meeting someone else's downstairs area creeps me out. Don't we pee from there?'

'Gaara…'

'Yeah?'

'Can you go and get me some groceries. I forgot and we don't have any dinner.'

'Oh, okay. I'll be back in a little.'

'I can't believe that worked!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!


	25. Kankuro tries the trick

You guys are wonderful! I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much, so I hope this will be good as well ^^

...

'Kankuro?'

'Yeah, what's up?'

'Why do people have sex?'

'…'

'I just don't get it. It doesn't seem very nice and the thought of something being sticky…'

'Uhh, hey. Can you go to the store and get me some new oil?'

'If you answer my question I will.'

'B-but for Temari you did groceries without even having her answer your question! This was supposed to work!'

'I did groceries, because I need to eat as well. Oil is for your puppets and do not concern me. Now answer my question. What makes people want to have sex?'

'B-because it's good!'

'How is it good? It sounds awful and I never want to do it.'

'Then why question me about it?! You're not going to do it anyway!'

'Because I want to know why other people would want to do it. So why do people have sex?'

'B-because it feels good and then something good happens…'

'What kind of good?'

'You, uhh… orgasm…'

'… What's an orgasm?'

'Oh, god…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!


	26. Gaara like likes Kankuro

A weird one again... I don't know if it's even remotely funny...

...

'Kankuro?'

'I'm not going to answer that question!'

'I have a different question. How do you know if you like someone?'

'Well, do you like someone?'

'I don't know… I like you.'

'Uh, yeah. But not like in the way of like like, right?'

'I guess I like like you. You're my brother, why would I not like like you?'

'Uh, Gaara, I do hope you don't like like me…'

'What? You don't like like me then? I thought we had gotten pretty close and brothers should be close, right?'

'Gaara, it is illegal to like like your brother and then we also have the case that you are underaged.'

'So when I am eighteen you'll like like me?'

'No! Gaara, I will not like like you! That's incest…'

'… I think you should like like me anyway. I have been very nice to you… What is incest?'

'Gaara! Family members can't like each other in that way!'

'What way? We are family, we should like like each other. I should like you more than I should like an acquaintance.'

'Yes! But not in that way!'

'What way?'

'Gaara!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!


	27. Temari doesn't like like Gaara

To continue on the like liking aspect of the last one ^^ Because apparently it wasn't as bad as I thought! And I am glad I could make the KankuGaa fandom happy as well ^^ Although they might not like me anymore now...

Anyway, thank you for the kind words and I hope I may entertain you all for a while still ^^ I'm aiming for about 50 chapters :)

...

'Gaara? Something wrong?'

'…'

'Hey, you can tell your sister anything. Just tell me what's bothering you.'

'… Kankuro doesn't like me.'

'What makes you say that? Of course Kankuro likes you.'

'No, he said he didn't like like me and told me it was illegal to like like me. He still treats me like some sort of monster.'

'Uhh, Gaara…'

'But you like like me, right Temari?'

'I, uh, well…'

'You don't like like me either?! What's wrong with me?'

'N-no, nothing's wrong with you, Gaara. But like like is illegal between siblings.'

'What's so bad about like liking someone. It just makes them more special! I can't believe my family doesn't even like like me!'

'Gaara, where are you going?'

'I am going to find someone that does like me!'

'But Gaara! Like like means something else!'

'I bet Naruto like likes me!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!


	28. Naruto does like like Gaara

Most of you already guessed what was going to happen, but I skipped the Naruto part and tortured Temari and Kankuro some more.

And I made some fandoms happy again... Although I must say I prefer GaaNaru. No, wait. I prefer Gaara x me :D

...

'Temari, Kankuro. I need to talk to you about something.'

'Why does he want to talk to the both of us?'

'How the hell should I know. I found him moping after he had the liking talk with you and then he got mad at me as well. So something must be up.'

'Stop whispering to each other and listen to me! I just had a talk with Naruto and we have established that we like like each other and therefore I believe that you two should definitely like like me. He is not even family!'

'Naruto said what?...'

'That idiot! Of course Naruto would say that. He understands just as much about this as Gaara, maybe even less!'

'But he does understand more about… sex and stuff than Gaara. Is he really such a good friend for him?'

'Naruto is a better friend than you two are! At least he like likes me and thank you for telling me that Naruto knows more about sex. I will ask him since he is a true friend and does like like me!'

'Gaara, wait! You don't understand what like like means!'

'Ugh, why did we get stuck with a brother that wants to know too much, but understands so little? Shouldn't parents be dealing with this kind of stuff?'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!


	29. Gaara will ask Naruto

So when I woke up I was thinking of this one and I think this one is pretty funny, which probably means it isn't :D

And I want to get something else out of the way as well. I realise this story gets a lot of different kinds of readers, because we all love a nice crack fic and get a laugh out of it, if you actually like the humour of course. So I also realise that not everyone likes the yaoi hints that might be in here. That does not mean I will stop having them in here. I want Gaara's sexuality to be as unknown as possible. So he could be straight, gay, bi, asexual, everything you can think of really. So if you really don't like the yaoi hints, I suggest to not read this story, but it will all be on a funny note and it is still T-rated. So I am not going to throw in a sex scene somewhere along the line... So I hope you will still enjoy this story and keep on reading :)

...

'Naruto!'

'Mhmm?'

'You are going to answer all my questions. But first go finish your ramen.'

'…'

'Okay, this is taking too long. Give me that.'

'Hey! That's only my fourth bowl of ramen…'

'… Anyway, my first question is: Do you masturbate?'

'Gaara! You can't ask things like that! That is private and wrong and… you just don't ask things like that!'

'Why not?'

'Because it's private and something you do alone, so you don't talk about it with others. It's embarrassing!'

'How do you do that alone then?'

'I don't know. Get a dirty book or something. Like the one I gave you the other day.'

'Oh, so that was a gift to get me to masturbate.'

'… N-no! Of course not! I-I was just giving you a gift which I thought you would enjoy.'

'I did enjoy it… So does that mean I masturbated then?'

'How the hell should I know?! I don't even want to know! Can we talk about something else?!'

'But you said that when you read the book, you masturbate.'

'It's not what I said. I… My head hurts…'

'Mine too…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	30. Naruto does want to

Gaara is still bothering Naruto... And creeps him out some more. I bet Naruto is wondering why he ever became friends with the lovely redhead ^^ More hints up ahead!

And this one is a little late(as if), but I am dead tired and had a long day at work, so please bare with me and let's pray this one is funny! Kisses to my lovely readers

...

'Naruto?'

'What?!'

'You don't have to be so angry…'

'Sorry, I'm just a little afraid of all these questions you have been asking me lately.'

'But they are very normal questions. I just want to know certain things and apparently I am the only person who doesn't know.'

'They are not normal questions, Gaara! How many times do I have to tell you that? It's awkward and those things should be private!'

'Do you want to have sex?'

'What?'

'Do you want to have sex?'

'Are you asking me if I want to sleep with you?!'

'… I don't think so. I was just wondering if you want to have sex.'

'But not with you, right?'

'No… I'm still finding out what is so appealing about sex.'

'Okay… Well I guess I do at some point.'

'Okay.'

'…'

'Why?'

'Gaara! Just leave me alone!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	31. Temari says hello

Another new chapter! Thank you for all the sweet reviews, because they mean the world! Until you get one bitchy one ^^ This isn't me wanting you to stick up for me, but if you see the review, I would like you to report the person to fanfiction. Not because of the review, but because of what this person has on their profile. This is just someone that seeks out fights on the internet and I think fanfiction should not have those people on their site. And the more people report this profile, the more chance we get that this person will be removed ^^ Thanks in advance and don't feel pressured to do it of course! I'm just asking if you would if you feel the same way :)

Now on with the chapter and I will not blab as much next time!

...

'Hey, Gaara. Long-time no see. Did you have fun with Naruto?'

'Hn…'

'Well, that's not very enthusiastic. Did something happen?'

'Naruto didn't answer any of my questions and actually left me with more!'

'Okay… Well, that is unfortunate.'

'Don't you dare leave this room, Temari. You are going to answer my questions!'

'Sorry, Gaara. I am actually very busy and just came in to say hello. Why don't you ask your brother or something or find some new friends.'

'Temari! I just want to know why those books Kakashi reads makes me masturbate?'

'I don't want to know what that old man does and I really don't want to know what you masturbate to!'

'Temari?'

'Yeah…'

'What's masturbate?'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	32. Shikamaru is stoned

So I had a new idea today... I hope it makes sense that it's three people and who is talking when :) Enjoy!

...

'Shikamaru, you are unbelievable. Sometimes I think you are just stoned or something with the way you just lounge around everywhere. Even when you are spending time with me!'

'I am just sleepy, Temari. And it's nice to just relax and watch the clouds…'

'Whatever. At least you don't eat as much as your friend does. He must be a bother when he's stoned. Eat even more…'

'What's stoned?'

'Huh? Oh, Gaara! Uh… Stoned is, uh. Shikamaru?'

'Stoned is when you smoke…'

'Nooo, uh stoned is when you get stones thrown at you.'

'What does that have to do with smoking?'

'Nothing , Shikamaru was just kidding.'

'… Shikamaru, what is stoned?'

'Do you want me to lie to him like you or just shut up?'

'Shikamaru! Are you crazy!'

'Temari, what is stoned?'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	33. Gaara wants to try drugs

So I think I need to explain the last chapter... Because I am not sure, but I get the feeling no one really got it XD So I think it's because of the word stoned. Either it is outdated or just a Dutch word we use for being high. I'm not sure, but we use it when we would smoke weed for example. If you did understand and it just wasn't funny, then I am making a fool of myself and I am sorry :P

Now enjoy this one!

...

'Kankuro…'

'What is it…?'

'I want to try drugs.'

'… What?! How the hell do you even know about drugs and why would you even want to try it?!'

'Shikamaru told me about it.'

'Of course he did… Damn that guy. He has no idea how to handle you!'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Uhh, so why do you want to try it again?'

'Because Shikamaru says it relaxes you and I think I need some relaxing from time to time here. It's very stressful when you don't answer my questions.'

'Oh yeah, it's very stressful for you… But you are not trying drugs, Gaara!'

'Why not?'

'B-because you are too young and, and… Because I am saying so!'

'Really?'

'I'm sorry, I don't have a good comeback, but you are still not trying it.'

'Okay, I'll go ask Temari then.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	34. Gaara is a monster in bed

Gaara has another fan... Enjoy!

...

'Kankuro…'

'I am not going to buy you… Something wrong? You look a little upset.'

'Well, I am a little confused, but it felt like I was just insulted by a random girl.'

'Why do you think that?'

'Well, she came up to me and started saying how the village thought I was a monster and stuff and I already thought that the conversation wasn't going in a great direction and then out of nowhere she suddenly says, but I bet you are a monster in bed, and then she winked at me! What does that mean?'

'Uh, I, uh, at least it is not an insult!'

'It's not? What is it then?'

'Uhm, she, uh, she meant it in a good way, but I do suggest to stay away from her.'

'Why?'

'Because she will make me answer more awkward questions…'

'What? I didn't catch that.'

'Nothing, Gaara. Just go play with your sand or something.'

'Okay!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	35. Temari is a monster outside the bedroom

Thank you all for the lovely reviews and welcome new readers ^^ Hopefully this will keep entertaining you :) Enjoy!

...

'Temari?'

'Mhmm?'

'Are you a monster in bed?'

'… Shikamaru stop laughing! Uh, what makes you ask that, Gaara?'

'A girl said that I was probably a monster in bed and Kankuro said that was a good thing, but wouldn't explain why… So I am trying to find out why it would be a compliment.'

'Well, Gaara. I can answer one question for you. Your sister is definitely a monster in bed and outside the bed as well. Have you ever seen her…'

'I swear to god, Shikamaru. If you don't stop talking now, you will find your head back in the leaf while your body is still here…'

'So troublesome…'

'But is it a good thing Temari is a monster in bed and what about outside the bed?'

'If you answer that question, Shikamaru, you are dead!'

'I am not getting involved anymore. Go educate that kid already.'

'I will tell him whatever I want to and it's none of your business how he is raised!'

'You guys are annoying. I'll go ask someone else.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	36. Gaara hires a prostitute

So I almost didn't update today... I have been getting lost in Attack on Titan and uhh forgot... Sorry :( But then DestinyBlitz reminded me! So thank her for that and the idea for this chapter as well! Enjoy!

PS: Go watch Attack on Titan and then when you finished that, go read the manga, because like you can really stop? And then we can become best friends and talk about this amazing thing that is Attack on Titan. I am addicted... Help me T.T

...

'Uh, Gaara. Who is this?'

'Mhmm? Oh, this is a girl who offered her services for a good price, so I hired her.'

'… What kind of services?'

'She didn't really specify, but I'm assuming something with cleaning. She has been asking about the bedroom a lot, so I told her to go, but apparently I need to come along and point some stuff out or something.'

'Uh, don't let her in the bedroom, Gaara. Just show her the door.'

'Why? I paid money for her, so it would really be a waste. But you can borrow her. She said she wouldn't mind doing multiple people, so she could clean your room as well.'

'Oh, god. Gaara, where did you even find her?'

'Just around town somewhere. She was really trying to find someone. So I am just helping out. Why do you have such a problem with her, Kankuro?'

'… Because she's half naked!'

'Don't judge someone on the way they dress, brother.'

'But…'

'No! Now go away. She needs to clean the kitchen.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	37. Gaara has a crush

New chapter! And just to be clear, the woman was a prostitute, so normally it's the females you pick up on the street by car, but in this case just by foot I guess... Anyway, enjoy! :D

...

'Kankuro, can I ask you something?'

'Did you get rid of the girl already?'

'… Yes…'

'… Okay, then what do you want to ask?'

'When do you know if you have a crush on someone?'

'Uh, well when you think of someone a lot and mostly in a romantic way.'

'Naruto said it was when you picture someone naked a lot.'

'Oh, uh well, do you picture someone naked a lot?'

'Not really… Unless you count the times that I wish I was at the hotsprings with friends. I do picture many people naked then. Even you Kankuro, because I want you to come as well. Does that mean I have a crush on many people?'

'N-no, Gaara… You do not have a crush on all those people…'

'Oh, okay then. And the girl is currently in your room cleaning.'

'What? I thought you got rid of her!'

'She creeps me out, so you can do it.'

'What? Gaara!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	38. Kankuro wears make-up

I can't believe I didn't put this in a chapter sooner... It's quite obvious, isn't it? Maybe a little lame and I mean no offense, but it is the sibling love ^^

...

'Kankuro?'

'We are not going to the hot springs, Gaara.'

'I wanted to ask something else.'

'Do I want to answer the question?'

'Why do you wear make-up?'

'I don't want to answer that question.'

'Temari says make-up is for girls and this way you get in touch with your feminine side. Oh, no wait. She said this way you try to be a girl.'

'That is not why I wear make-up! And what about her then? She doesn't wear any make-up, so would that make her a guy?'

'I don't know? Would it?'

'Yes it would! Now go tell her that and also add that I wear make-up, because this way I make a statement.'

'What kind of statement? The fact that you like dressing up like a girl?'

'What? Gaara! That damn kid…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	39. Gaara learns a new word

Not overly funny and I think I might end this one soon. I'm going a bit without inspiration at the moment... :( Anyway enjoy this one regardless!

...

'Temari, I learned a new word today.'

'Oh and what might that word be.'

'Aphrodisiac.'

'… And who taught you that word?'

'Kakashi's book that I have been reading.'

'… Did you read the part that came after that yet?'

'No, because I didn't know what it meant and that is why you need to explain it first before I read on.'

'I don't want you to read that book, so I will not tell you what it means.'

'Tell me or I'll ask Kakashi.'

'It's something that people use in the bedroom.'

'To do what?'

'Sex…'

'I am not reading that book anymore!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	40. Naruto owns a magazine

This one is after an omake from Naruto where said blonde buys an magazine which he expects to be filled with girls and then finds out it is filled with a Gai look a like in a bathing suit ^^

Enjoy!

...

'Naruto, may I ask you something?'

'Sure, but I am still going to eat my ramen.'

'Why do you have this magazine hidden under your bed?'

'… Don't look in it, Gaara! That is private and uh, not mine!'

'Why do you keep it under your bed if it's not yours? … And why are there naked men in here?'

'Close that magazine, Gaara! Don't…'

…

'You didn't have to rip it apart, Naruto.'

'Yes, yes I did.'

'So why did you have a magazine filled with naked pictures of guys?'

'Because I couldn't see what was in there until I bought it and opened it up… I didn't think there were naked guys in there…'

'Mhmm, sounds rather strange. So what did you expect was in there then?'

'Naked girls of course!'

'Why would you want a magazine filled with pictures of naked girls?'

'Because! Wait, would you want this magazine with naked guys then?'

'… I don't want either of them or I want both, so I can ask more questions about it.'

'… I think I am just going to eat my ramen now.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	41. Kakashi has to answer

After an idea of EveryWordCounts. Gaara pays a visit to Kakashi!

And thank you for all the reviews and love! Just a few more chapters after this, because I will end it at chapter 50 ;) Enjoy!

...

'Kakashi-sensei, I have some questions for you. May I ask them?'

'Sure, Gaara. What can I help you with? Something about the leaf or something?'

'No, about the book you are currently reading.'

'… What do you know about the book I am reading?'

'Naruto let me read it when he was over.'

'You do realise that Naruto wasn't supposed to have that book and that you weren't supposed to read it.'

'Who has the book is not my responsibility and you have no say about what I can and can't read, sir.'

'… So what did you want to ask me?'

'Well this part in the book suggests something, but I don't quite get it. What is really going on here? What is a throbbing member?'

'… It's a body part.'

'What body part is it then?'

'The one that throbs.'

'But nothing throbs on my body.'

'Thank god it doesn't…'

'Kakashi, you're supposed to answer my questions!'

'Gotta go, kid. Good luck with your throbbing member…'

'Mhmm, Naruto wasn't kidding when he said Kakashi could disappear in a poof of smoke.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	42. Gaara feels uncomfortable

This is after an idea of robinbatmanlover. I changed it a bit, but see this as Gaara being interviewed by someone of a magazine who changes the answers to make it interesting. It's a little different than expected, but when I start writing, I just can't stop... Enjoy!

...

'So Gaara, we have heard you want to become the fifth Kazekage. What are your reasons for doing so?'

'I believe that I can do great things for this village and…'

'Interesting… And are you ready for the many fans it might get you?'

'Fans?'

'Yeah, the ones who will ask for your autograph or the ones that linger outside your bedroom, trying to get a glimpse of you naked…'

'Naked?'

'Yes, are you ready for those girls? Being such a young Kazekage will surely get you these kinds of fans and of course you are quite goodlooking.'

'Wasn't this interview about me becoming the fifth Kazekage?'

'Yes, but this interview is for the female audience and they want to know what you sleep in at night. So what do you sleep in?'

'… Why do they want to know that?'

'So they can imagine you lying next to them on the lonely nights of course. So what is it? Boxers? T-shirt? Naked?'

'… I don't know… Just a pyjama or something.'

'In boxers it is.'

'What? I… Temari! You said this was a normal interview!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	43. Gaara is being spied on

Sorry, rest of the world for disliking my story. Thank you rest of the readers for liking it. Just so you know, you do not belong to the rest of the world apparently. Enjoy! If you are not the rest of the world.

...

'Temari, we need to talk.'

'Mhmm?'

'How come I have fangirls?'

'Since when do you have fangirls?'

'Since the interviewer told me I had fangirls.'

'And what does he know about it?'

'He deals with this a lot more than I have. And why do these fangirls want to know what I sleep in?'

'What? What kind of interview was this?'

'You tell me. You arranged it!'

'I didn't mean them to ask you those questions.'

'Too bad. Now answer mine, because I had to answer theirs.'

'Well, uh, I guess you have fangirls, because you are a goodlooking guy…?'

'That's what the guy said. Now it still doesn't make sense that they want to know what I sleep in and that they spy on me when I am in my bedroom.'

'What? People are spying on you? You should've told me about this, Gaara! Damn it, I'm going to find them all!'

'I wasn't aware of this until I took the interview! Hey, where did that girl come from?'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	44. Kankuro is jealous

Thank you for all the kind reviews and I hope you will all enjoy this for the last few chapters! On Sunday it will officially end, because I will not go over 50 ;)

...

'Hey, Kankuro. Do you have any fangirls?'

'Uh, I don't know. Why do you ask?'

'I have fangirls.'

'What? How can you have fangirls? Everyone is like afraid of you and stuff.'

'… Apparently that is the appealing part. The interviewer called it mysterious.'

'You were interviewed? Why wasn't I aware of this? I can't have my little brother be more popular than me! He doesn't even know what it means!'

'I am right here you know…'

'And now he has fangirls and I will be forever alone, because who would want to date Gaara's less popular brother? He's not cool enough.'

'Why are you talking like I am not even present?'

'Of course there will be more interviews now and then Gaara will say something about me that everyone will take the wrong way and then I will be hated forever. I should be the cool one! I am older and actually know things about life.'

'That's just because you never answer my questions!'

'Huh? Oh, so you have fangirls, huh?'

'…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	45. Gaara takes a quiz

I think I can be an excellent quiz maker... Anyway, enjoy and also good luck with going to school again and such! It's dying out here and I think that's is what's to blame... So do your best and make sure you don't fail math 0.o

...

'Temari, what do you think the Kazekage is supposed to do?'

'Uh, well, the people should believe in the Kazekage and trust him or her enough to take care of the village. Of course the Kazekage possesses great strength and…'

'No, no. I wasn't finished yet. What do you think the Kazekage is supposed to do when a beautiful girls walks by and he wants to talk to her, but he also has business to attend to…'

'What kind of question is that? And what is that piece of paper?'

'Wait, I am not finished yet. A, go to the meeting and do your work as you're supposed to. There are many more beautiful girls in the world and if it's meant to be, you will run into her again. B, screw work, you need to talk to that hot babe now and you will do anything possible to talk to her. The meeting can wait, love can't. Or C, quickly ask the girl if she would meet you somewhere later on and then go to the meeting. Work is important, but you don't want to be forever alone.'

'… What kind of test is that, Gaara?'

'Are you fit to become the next Kazekage.'

'… Fill in answer C.'

'Thanks, Temari and what about…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	46. Baki is proud

As requested by .luna a chapter with Baki ^^ I don't think it's very funny though... I tried! Enjoy guys and woow, chapter 46 already x.x

...

'So Baki, now that I want to become the Kazekage, I will soon be the boss over you.'

'Indeed you will be, Gaara. Now what is your point?'

'Kankuro told me I should ask you how you feel about it.'

'I feel proud, Gaara. I was your sensei and you will be running for Kazekage now.'

'Mhmm…'

'Something wrong?'

'I don't think that answer will please Kankuro. He was pretty sure you would be mad.'

'That's because your brother is a brat and you are not, so you didn't ask the question in a demeaning way.'

'Oh, wait. I know what I was supposed to say now! So Baki, how do you feel about getting me coffee every morning now that I will be the Kazekage?'

'You really should stop listening to your brother, Gaara… There is a reason why you will be the Kazekage and not him.'

'I guess… Hey, Baki. Do you know why people have sex?'

'What…?'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	47. Gaara gets a picture

An idea from IWatchTheOneTheyCallKeziah! Changed it a bit and then we agreed on something dirty. Some KankuGaa hints up ahead, so if you don't like that, you might not want to read, but it's nothing major. Gaara is as ignorant as ever ^^ Enjoy!

...

'Hey, Kankuro. Someone send me this picture.'

'What picture? Oh my god. Throw that away!'

'Why? I think it's kind of sweet that they see us this way.'

'What's that supposed to mean?!'

'Well, they show use very close together in some sort of hugging position. I think it's drawn nicely and we do look happy, I think.'

'Gaara, that's not… We're not hugging. We are, uh… You know.'

'I don't know. To me it looks like you do like like me and that means a lot. I am keeping this picture and I will hang it up in my room.'

'Wait, you can't… It's wrong! God, Gaara it's a dirty picture!'

'No, it's clean. Don't worry, this person took good care of the drawing and I will honour the effort. And it's a great picture no matter what you say.'

'But Gaara…'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	48. Lee is in one too

So I actually don't ship this, but thought it would be the one Gaara would least understand out of the popular pairings with him! As a continuation on the last chapter ;) Anyone has an amazing idea that needs to be in here still, because chapter 50 is planned, but I still have room in 49:)

Bits of hints of a certain position, sorry if it offends you in a way. Enjoy!

...

'Hey, Temari. The other day I found this picture of me and Kankuro and it was kind of nice, but I don't quite get this one.'

'What do you… Oh my god… Where did you get this?!'

'Someone sent it to me. They did take a lot of time in making it perfect, but why draw something of me and Lee together? We haven't been such good friends and I haven't seen him in years.'

'Yeah… I don't know either… Let's just throw this out, okay?'

'What? No, I want to show it to Lee first and ask what he thinks of this.'

'Well, that's not necessary, right? It's about what you think about it and you think it's creepy!'

'I don't find it creepy. It's quite nicely drawn, but I don't understand the position. Look…'

'No, it's fine! Just keep it, Gaara. Hang it up in your room or something. I'm just going to go now.'

'But, Temari. Why am I on my hands and knees?'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think


	49. Kankuro is jealous again

Couldn't help myself with this one... Anyway, tomorrow will be the last one, so I hope you will enjoy the last two days of Things my little brother asks!

...

'Hey, Kankuro. I am getting more and more of these pictures, but most of them are with people I don't even know. What do these pictures even mean?'

'What? Give me that. I can't believe all these girls draw themselves with you! I'm so jealous!'

'Why? I think it's rather creepy. I don't even know these people.'

'I don't get it! Why do they even like you? You are so ignorant and you could definitely not pleasure them the way you are doing in these pictures!'

'I'm pleasuring them? How? I'm pretty sure my sand doesn't feel that comfortable… And what the hell is "Sand orgasm"? I have never even heard of that jutsu and I also don't know what orgasm means.'

'These people are definitely crazy if they think your sand is better than my puppets!'

'Kankuro, why are you so mad? You're supposed to help me out here. I am afraid!'

'Oh, of course the Kazekage is afraid of some girls and his brother doesn't get anything! This is so unfair!'

'Kankuro! Where are you going? Come one, help me!'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think!


	50. Gaara knows everything now

So this is the end of it all! And I think this is the right moment to stop as well since my reviewers are leaving me :( So I do hope you will all enjoy this final goodbye and a Gaara freaking out!

...

'Gaara, it is time we have a talk.'

'You're brother and I have decided you are old enough now to know some things.'

'And of course you are also the Kazekage, so the council asked us to tell you. They didn't really appreciate it you asking them…'

'… No, they did not. So Gaara, you may now ask any question you still have and we will answer truthfully.'

'Go nuts!'

~ Hours later ~

'So that was your last question, Gaara?'

'Yes…'

'Well, I am glad that's over with. I think we did a pretty good job, right Temari?'

'… Are you okay, Gaara? You look a little pale.'

'I think I am going to lay down for a while. I'm, uh, freaking out a little.'

'I told you he wasn't old enough to know about those drawings!'

' What?! You're blaming me now? What about you telling him about what some of my puppets can do? I can't help it that they sell nicely!'

'Guys…'

'Oh yeah, but it was you who told him about what Naruto really confessed to him and now he doesn't know what to do with that!'

'Guys!'

'Yeah…?'

'Can I be a virgin forever?'

'Uh… Yeah, we're not going to force you.'

'But that does mean you won't be getting any children of your own…'

'It was children that drew me these creepy things!'

'Point taken.'

'I will be avoiding you two for the next couple of days.'

'Understood.'

'See you later, Gaara.'

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Let me know what you think one last time!

Thank you for all the love, guys. Through the flames and the yaoi hate it has mean a lot to have you all around. I hope you have all enjoyed this as much as I had writing it and maybe we'll see each other in the future again when I decide to do some more crack or maybe when I write something else you may enjoy :)


End file.
